Why It's Important That Children Fail: The Hidden Benefits of Mistakes

As parents, it’s natural to want to shield our children from failure. We step in to fix problems, smooth the path ahead, and ensure they feel successful, which is important, particularly with younger children. But in doing so too frequently, we might be depriving them of some of the most valuable lessons in life, lessons that impact their future. Failure, while uncomfortable, is one of the greatest teachers a child can have. It fosters resilience, encourages problem-solving, and builds essential life skills that success alone cannot provide.

When a child fails, they have an opportunity to reflect, adjust, and try again. Studies in educational psychology highlight that struggle is essential to the learning process. According to research published in the Journal of Educational Psychology, students who encounter challenges and persist develop a deeper understanding of concepts compared to those who find tasks easy from the start.

Neuroscientists also confirm that failure strengthens neural pathways. When children experience setbacks and work through them, their brains adapt, creating stronger connections that improve future problem-solving abilities. This is known as neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself in response to experiences, including mistakes.

Success feels great, but it doesn’t push us to grow. Psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her work on the growth mindset, explains that children who are taught to embrace failure as a learning experience develop greater perseverance and motivation. In contrast, those who are shielded from failure often develop a fixed mindset, believing their abilities are static and avoiding challenges altogether.

A study from Cognitive Science journal found that students who made mistakes and received feedback were more likely to retain information compared to those who got the right answer immediately. This proves that making errors isn't just part of learning, it's a crucial step in mastering any skill.

When children experience failure, they develop essential character traits that will serve them throughout life. Some of these include:

• Resilience — Learning to bounce back from setbacks teaches kids that obstacles can be overcome with effort and perseverance.

• Humility — Experiencing challenges helps children extend empathy and compassion to others, and then toward themselves as a result.

• Problem-Solving Skills — Failure forces children to think critically about what went wrong and how they can improve next time.

• Self-Confidence — When kids work through failures and eventually succeed, they gain confidence in their ability to handle challenges.

• Adaptability — Experiencing failure teaches kids to adjust their approach and embrace flexibility in uncertain situations.

• Intrinsic Motivation — Children who learn from failure begin to see effort as valuable, rather than just focusing on external rewards.

Rather than preventing failure, parents can support their children in learning from it. This doesn’t mean stepping back entirely but rather guiding them through the experience in a way that fosters growth.

Imagine your child struggling with math homework. Instead of giving them the answer when they get frustrated, parents can ask guiding questions: “What do you think you could try differently?” or “Where do you think you got stuck?” This approach not only encourages problem-solving but also builds perseverance and confidence in their ability to find solutions.

Parents can also model resilience in their own lives. When facing challenges, openly, but age appropriately, discussing struggles and the lessons learned can demonstrate to children that mistakes are not something to be feared but embraced. A simple statement like, “I had a really tough day at work. I realized I need to approach that project differently,” can show kids that even adults experience setbacks and grow from them.

Finally, fostering a household culture that values effort over perfection can make all the difference. Celebrating persistence—whether in sports, academics, or hobbies—reinforces that success is about the journey, not just the destination. Encouraging phrases like, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that,” rather than, “You’re so smart,” can help children develop a mindset that values effort and learning over innate ability.

By embracing failure as an essential part of growth, children will develop the skills and mindset they need to navigate life’s inevitable challenges with confidence and resilience. In the end, our greatest successes are built on the lessons we learn from falling down and getting back up again.

Perfectionism in Kids: Recognizing the Signs and Encouraging a Growth Mindset

As parents, we want the best for our children. We encourage them to work hard, do their best, and reach for their goals. But sometimes, high expectations, whether from themselves, school, or even well-meaning family members, can lead to perfectionism. While striving for excellence can be a positive trait, perfectionism can create anxiety, frustration, and an overwhelming fear of failure.

Understanding the signs of perfectionism in kids and fostering a growth mindset can help them develop a healthier approach to success, but what is a growth mindset? Coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, it is the belief that one's abilities, viewpoints, and outcomes can be developed and improved through dedication, perseverance, and hard work. The opposite is true of a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset views talents, abilities, personality, and character as static and unchangeable, the basis from which you must engage with life, leaving no room for growth or change. This mindset can also lead to personal challenges being viewed as threats to one’s self-esteem, because worth is then measured solely in outcomes (external validation). This can be very confusing for children, either subconsciously or overtly, and lead to increased anxiety and feelings of “I’m not good enough.”

Perfectionism often starts with a desire to do well, but it can quickly turn into unrealistic self-imposed standards. Here are some common signs that a child may be struggling with perfectionism:

• Fear of making mistakes – Even small errors can feel like major failures, leading to stress or avoidance.

• Procrastination – Some children delay tasks because they fear they won’t do them “perfectly.”

• Excessive self-criticism – They may be overly hard on themselves, feeling their work is never good enough.

• Avoiding new challenges – If success isn’t guaranteed, they may hesitate to try new things.

• Frustration or meltdowns – If things don’t go as planned, they may become upset or refuse to continue.

Recognizing these behaviors early can help parents provide the right support to prevent perfectionism from becoming overwhelming. While these signs can also come and go naturally with many children, look out for ongoing, consistent bouts that begin to interfere with daily functioning.

Children who set impossibly high standards for themselves may experience increased anxiety, low self-esteem, and even burnout. The pressure to always achieve perfect results can take the joy out of learning, making school or extracurricular activities feel like a constant test rather than an opportunity for growth.

Perfectionism can also lead to avoidance behaviors. A child who is afraid of failure may avoid trying altogether, robbing themselves of valuable learning experiences. Instead of taking healthy risks and learning from mistakes, they may become paralyzed by the fear of falling short.

The good news is that parents can help children shift their perspective by fostering a growth mindset, the belief that abilities develop through effort, practice, and learning from mistakes. Here’s how to encourage this mindset:

• Praise effort, not just results – Focus on hard work, persistence, and creativity rather than perfection.

• Normalize mistakes – Show children that mistakes are part of learning. Share stories about times when you struggled and grew from the experience.

• Encourage problem-solving – When they face challenges, guide them to think of solutions instead of feeling defeated.

• Model self-compassion – Speak kindly about your own mistakes and model resilience.

• Set realistic expectations – Help them understand that success is a journey, not a single achievement.

Children who tie their self-worth to achievement often struggle with self-acceptance. Helping them develop intrinsic self-worth (valuing themselves for who they are rather than what they accomplish) can foster lasting confidence. Encourage them to explore activities that bring them joy, not just those they excel at. Engage in open conversations about their unique qualities, strengths, and values beyond academics or performance.

Help them recognize that their worth is not conditional on external validation. Encourage self-reflection by asking questions like, “What did you enjoy about that activity?” instead of focusing on outcomes. Teaching gratitude and self-acceptance can also strengthen their sense of self. By fostering a supportive environment where children feel valued regardless of their achievements, parents can help them build a foundation of self-worth that lasts a lifetime.

While high achievement can be valuable, it’s important to balance hard work with self-care. Encourage breaks, play, and relaxation as part of a healthy routine. Help your child understand that their worth is not defined by performance alone.

By recognizing the signs of perfectionism and fostering a growth mindset, parents can empower children to embrace challenges with confidence, resilience, and a love for learning. Growth, effort, and curiosity can lead to even greater success.

The Mental Health Benefits of Outdoor Play for Kids

As a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand the profound impact nature can have on mental health. As a parent, you’ve likely noticed how much happier and more relaxed your child seems after spending time outside. In a world filled with screens, schedules, and structured activities, kids often miss out on one of the simplest yet most effective ways to support their well-being: time spent outdoors. Outdoor play is more than just fun, it helps kids manage stress, develop resilience, and improve their overall happiness.

The Science Behind Outdoor Play for Kids

Think about how you feel after a walk in the woods or sitting by a river. That sense of calm and clarity isn’t just in your head, it’s backed by science. Studies show that time in nature reduces cortisol levels (the stress hormone), lowers blood pressure, and increases serotonin and dopamine, which contribute to feelings of happiness and relaxation. For children, whose nervous systems are still developing, these benefits can be even more pronounced.

When kids spend time outdoors, they engage their senses in ways that can’t be replicated indoors. The feel of dirt under their fingertips, the sound of birds chirping, and the sight of leaves rustling in the wind all provide grounding experiences, reducing overstimulation and encouraging mindfulness. Research has shown that children who regularly play outside exhibit lower rates of anxiety and improved focus, especially those with ADHD or sensory processing challenges.

How Outdoor Play Supports Emotional Regulation

Many children find it challenging to manage big emotions, and outdoor play provides a natural way to release pent-up energy and frustration. Running through a field, climbing a tree, or simply sitting on a rock watching the clouds all help children develop self-regulation skills by providing both sensory input and a calming environment. Outdoor spaces allow children to de-stress without the pressures of performance or structured expectations, which can be overwhelming in a school or home setting.

Encouraging Social Connection Through Outdoor Play

In addition to its impact on individual well-being, outdoor play fosters social and emotional development. Unlike structured indoor play, outdoor environments encourage imaginative, cooperative play. Kids build forts, create games, and negotiate roles in a way that strengthens communication skills, teamwork, and problem-solving abilities.

For children who struggle with social interactions, nature provides a lower pressure setting to engage with peers. There’s less eye contact required, more space to move, and fewer overwhelming stimuli compared to an indoor classroom or play area. These elements make it easier for kids to engage socially at their own comfort level. Studies indicate that children who regularly play outside demonstrate better conflict resolution skills and increased empathy toward others.

How Parents Can Support Outdoor Play

The good news is that outdoor play doesn’t require a wilderness retreat or elaborate planning. Small, intentional moments outside can make a big difference. Giving kids time outside without an agenda lets them explore, get dirty, and follow their curiosity. Taking mindful walks together, noticing colors, sounds, and textures, can create a calming bonding experience. Activities such as gardening provide a sensory-rich, grounding experience, while nature-based crafts using leaves, rocks, or pinecones offer creative engagement. Even something as simple as reading outside, having a picnic in the park, or stargazing at night can encourage relaxation and mindfulness. One of my fondest memories as a child was sitting in my father’s lap as he pointed out the constellations in the night sky, telling me all the mythological stories they held.

Creating a routine that includes outdoor time can help children develop a deeper connection with nature and its benefits. Encouraging curiosity by asking kids to observe wildlife, identify plants, or listen to nature sounds can deepen their appreciation for the world around them. If your child enjoys technology, incorporating nature-based apps that identify bird calls or track hikes can blend digital interest with real-world exploration.

By fostering a love for the outdoors, parents help their children build resilience, improve their well-being, and develop lifelong habits that support emotional health. Nature provides a space for growth, reflection, and balance. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is simply step outside and let our children lead the way. We might even take a few pointers from their play strategies.

For more insights into the benefits of outdoor play, for children and adults, consider exploring research from organizations like the Center for Nature Informed Therapy, or the American Psychological Association, which provide further evidence of how nature supports mental health.

The Human-Nature Connection

My peaceful place.

The Human-Nature Connection: Why It Matters

For most of human history, people lived in close relationship with nature. We moved with the rhythms of the seasons, relied on the land, and experienced the natural world as an integral part of daily life. Our minds and bodies have been wired for this connection, yet modern life has increasingly pulled us away from it. As urbanization and technology shape our environments, many people spend more time indoors, disconnected from the landscapes that once provided a sense of grounding and belonging.

This growing separation from nature has contributed to rising levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout. Without the balance that nature provides, the mind can feel overwhelmed, restless, or untethered. Nature Informed Therapy (NIT) recognizes this disconnect and seeks to restore the relationship between humans and the natural world. By rebuilding this bond, individuals often find not only improvements in mental health but also a deeper sense of presence and belonging.

How Nature Informed Therapy Rebuilds This Connection

Slowing Down and Being Present

One of the core aspects of NIT is mindfulness in nature. In natural settings, the mind is more inclined to slow down, noticing the details of the environment, the sound of birds, the rustling of leaves, the feeling of the earth beneath one’s feet. This quiet attentiveness contrasts with the fast pace of modern life, allowing the nervous system to reset and the mind to settle.

When people engage with nature mindfully, they begin to experience a sense of interconnectedness. The simple act of noticing how sunlight filters through the trees or how water moves along a stream can foster a feeling of calm and perspective. These moments of awareness help create space between the self and daily stressors, reinforcing the idea that nature is not separate from us, but something we are intrinsically part of.

Re-establishing Natural Rhythms

Nature moves in cycles—the changing of the seasons, the rise and fall of tides, the process of growth and decay. These rhythms provide a sense of stability and predictability, offering comfort to those struggling with uncertainty or life transitions.

Many people find that time spent in nature mirrors their own emotional landscapes. A barren winter tree might remind someone that rest is necessary for growth. The persistence of a river carving through stone might offer reassurance that change happens slowly but surely. By observing these patterns, individuals often gain a renewed sense of patience and acceptance toward their own experiences.

Healing Through Connection

Being in nature often evokes a sense of belonging, not just to the environment, but to something larger than oneself. This feeling of connection can be especially healing for those struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or depression. Studies have shown that spending time in natural settings reduces cortisol levels, lowers blood pressure, and increases overall feelings of well-being.

Beyond its physiological benefits, nature provides a space for emotional reflection and renewal. Whether through walking in the woods, sitting by a body of water, or simply feeling the wind on one’s skin, these interactions with the natural world can be deeply restorative. They remind us that we are not alone, but part of an intricate and ever-changing system of life.

Rediscovering a Fundamental Connection

In a world that often prioritizes speed and productivity, reconnecting with nature is more important than ever. The human-nature bond is not something that has been lost, it is something that can always be renewed. Through mindfulness, awareness of natural rhythms, and intentional time outdoors, individuals can rediscover a sense of balance, calm, and belonging.

This journey back to nature is ultimately a journey back to oneself.